Hey Bartender!

So I got out of the bar business about two years ago and began working at a BYOB.  Now I remember why.  I was recently at a bar as a patron (I know, right? Can you believe it?), and I witnessed some behavior that made me wonder how I ever bartended for all those years without jumping over the bar and strangling somebody. 

It began with the wave.  A group of young meatheads down the bar from me began waving emphatically at the bartender to assist them with a round of shots.  The one who seemed to be in charge had a fifty in his waving paw, adding to the obnoxiousness of it all.  Just a quick aside:  As a bartender, at this point I'd be wondering how much this group really needs a round of shots, so if nothing else, know that waving down bartenders is a quick way to get cut off. 

After not being addressed for a whole thirty seconds, the shouting began.  Calls of "Hey sweetie!" and "Over here doll!"  caused the bartenders to cringe as they glanced at each other to see who would address this noise.  Finally, one of them took the bullet after doing every possible thing she could before reluctantly meandering over.  If it were me, these guys would've definitely gotten a little extra lime juice in their snakebites.

So how do you get a drink in a crowded bar?  Simple.  Have cash ready and out, all good bartenders will recognize cash; you don't have to wave it around.  Also, cash transactions are much faster thatn credit cards, so you have a better chance of being served first in a busy bar setting.  You should know to bring cash to a bar anyway, are you really putting $2.50 beers on your AMEX?

The other key is to make eye contact and smile.  When you smile at someone, they smile back.  The bartender not only knows from this smile exchange that you are thirsty, but you are also friendly and patient, and aware of how busy thay are. 

So show the dough, smile, and make eye contact and you'll always have a drink in hand.  Tipping well on the first round will also ensure the bartenders notice you when its time for the second.  And for well-made cocktails served efficiently with a smile?  20% is always accepted.